An open letter to a future small group leader

I guess that this letter can be addressed to anyone going into ministry, but after being a small group leader for two semesters, I feel justified to just comment on my own experiences.
Get ready for your life to get interesting. 

Being a small group leader is one of the most difficult, yet most rewarding college experiences. And if someone tells you its easy and NOT emotionally wrenching and draining, they are doing it wrong. And, if you think you already know everything about it...get ready to be incredibly humbled.

Being a small group leader takes your shortcomings, weaknesses, and struggles and smacks you in the face with them. It is impossible to avoid seeing them and noticing how far you still have to go. You realize how inept you really are and how much you. need. God.

Through being a small group leader I realized my need to show incredible grace and compassion to every person I came in contact with, especially those within my group. I learned that I suck at communicating my feelings with others. I learned that I need to be humble and accept the criticism that others give me. I learned that I should always try to better myself because of my great love for God and my desire to love His people well.

These may be some of the things that you struggle with too. But one thing is for certain, be prepared to fail and be knocked on your butt; and that is OKAY!  It is part of the experience. We are human, it is expected that we will fail! Isn't that a glorious thing?! It's glorious because Jesus already paid the price for our shortcomings and He loves us regardless.

Be prepared to deal with people. I know it seems obvious...but you don't even know!  Be prepared to fall in love with your small group (not in a romantic way, of course). You will care deeply and passionately about the people who you end up spending A LOT of your time with. You will hear their stories and their present struggles and your heart will break for them. You are no longer just concerned for your own well being, but also for the well being of these 2-10 other people.

Your time will be spent discipling, meeting with, praying for, comforting, and recklessly loving these people. NOT because it is even required, but because you would do absolutely anything for these people, even though you only met them 3 months ago.

I have learned SO MUCH about myself, others, and God, through my experience of being a small group leader. Most of this was through trial and error. However, through it all, I know that God was always by my side, helping me along, showing new things to me about Him and His Kingdom. 

My advice in all of this...look to God for everything. For your words, actions, rest, love, grace, time management, encouragement, companionship, and everything in between. Love Him first with all your heart and then watch your heart grow for His people.

Being a small group leader might be one of the hardest things you will ever do, but it is also one of the best things you will ever do.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10  ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I Will Waste My Life...

“I will waste my life I'll be tested and tried
With no regrets inside of me to find I'm at Your feet

I'll leave my father's house and I'll leave my mother
I'll leave all I have known and I'll have no other

I am in love with You There is no cost
I am in love with You There is no loss
I am in love with You I want to take Your name
I am in love with You I want to cling to You Jesus
Just let me cling to You Jesus.”

The first time I heard this song was at large group the spring semester of my junior year. The words hit me hard, but not necessarily in a way that convicted me, but in a way that simply scared me. In a couple months I would be getting on an airplane and flying to Kenya and I was terrified. People kept asking me about it and I would put on a smile and say that I was excited, but inside, every piece of my being was saying “Don’t go.” This song explained what I feared. Would God ask me to “waste my life” during this trip? Was He going to call me into something that I simply can’t do?

These fears surrounded the lie that there is anything in this World that I can’t do with God working through me. We see the limits of ourselves as humans and forget that the Creator lives within us and is constantly working through us.

In the World’s eyes we will do some things that may look as though we are “wasting our lives”. When our priorities are straight, it should look to outsiders this way.

During my time in Kenya I learned more about God than maybe my entire life up to that point. When you are put in a situation where the only thing you can rely on is the promise that God is with you, you learn that there is truly nothing He can’t do! God carried me through the hard times and celebrated with me through the good times. He wept with me and danced with me, He spoke through me and guided my every step. There is beauty in giving up complete and total control and trusting purely in God.

Through this experience God proved that He is with me always. My faith grew in exponential amounts. Towards the end of the trip I started to dread going back home for many reasons, one being that I feared my monotonous, routine life. I loved living from day to day, not knowing what to expect and yet knowing that God would provide regardless. I feared living a life that was predictable, comfortable, and essentially boring. 

This was an extremely wrong perspective to have. While there is more of a challenge to live a dangerous life here, it isn’t impossible! There are multiple times in the day where we have the opportunity to live out our faith or speak out about it, yet we do not always take the chance. Looking for these opportunities and acting on them is what we can do in our day to day lives. Even though I long to get out of my country of origin and explore and learn, right now I am here. God has me and 

you here for a purpose.

Let’s waste our lives in the view of the World, not in the view of God.

Resting in Him

There's this new thing I'm trying to do, it's called "resting". After a great conversation with one of the interns in my IV chapter, I found out that I am not very good at it. Now resting doesn't necessarily just mean sleep or binge watching Netflix. There is a correct way to rest and it is the only way, in my opinion that brings about true rejuvenation.

This is why I am trying to learn how to rest in God. Resting in a way that brings glory to Him and my relationship with Him. This means being intentional. That is why I am going to implement a Sabbath into my week from now on. Even if it is just half a day, I want to devote a certain amount of time away from people, technology, and distractions and just give it all to God. Spending time reading the Bible, in listening prayer, and in creativity gives God glory and brings about true newness and energy to my life.

Today was the first day that I observed my Sabbath. I just did it for the morning because of previous plans and an abundance of homework. And even before I really started, I felt myself begin to get stressed and anxious because the thought of the amount of work I could do during that time would be so helpful to me. But, that is when you need to take a step back and realize where your priorities lie. We do not often notice school as an idol but it can become one and it is disguised as something good.

Now don't get me wrong, it is okay to want to do well in school and put forth good effort. But when that get's in the way of giving time to God, that is when it becomes a problem. Our time should first be dedicated to God and then to school. Not first to school and then fit in God where we can. I saw this imbalance in myself and quickly shook it off. One thing I have learned this year is that when I give my time to God and do things that are for His glory. I always always always have enough time for the school work.

Does that mean giving up guilty pleasures like Netflix and Facebook? Yes. But, it is what we give our time to which defines the type of person we are. My priority is God. Sometimes it get's a little messed up, but I always seem to come back to the conclusion that time given to God is NEVER time wasted.

Today as I spent a beautiful morning with my Creator I learned new things about Him, new things about myself, He spoke new truths into my life, and gave me this incredible, life giving rest. And now I am writing this blog to tell you that your time is precious and I would encourage you to offer it up to God. Ask Him how He would have you spend it and be obedient. God wants what is best for you and if you let Him, He will give you rest and rejuvenation in the purest and most perfect form.