Can I admit something?
I'm scared.
In under a week I begin student teaching, and I don't know how other majors are, but honestly, no matter how many classes about teaching you take, it does not truly prepare you for the real thing. The only way to learn is to do it.
Now this is what terrifies me. I hate failing and messing up, but that is inevitable in this case. The only way I will learn and progress is by screwing up and learning from it. Isn't that a comforting thought? Overall I am excited to start this step towards my future career, but I am also already overwhelmed by the workload, the new things to learn, and developing myself as an educator.
Through this stress I came to realize that I shouldn't be feeling these ways. Anxiety is not what God wants for my life. I believe that God called me to be a teacher, because he wants to use me in that capacity, so why should I doubt? Why should I worry?
I have been reading the book Kisses from Katie (PHENOMENAL book, btw). It is an autobiography about a young woman who went to Uganda her Senior year of high school and felt called to go back after the short term trip. Her one year in Uganda turned into a life time commitment as she has now adopted 14 Ugandan children and running a ministry that provides hundreds of children with education, food, clothing, and medicine. As I read the book I marveled at her complete dependence on God, her intense love for the people around her, and her passions to do WHATEVER God calls her to. I was challenged and humbled at my lack of all these things. I know that God can do all things and I know He can work through me, I just don't seem to fully should it in my actions and dispositions.
Basically, I am weak, but He is strong...and I never want to doubt that again.
Bwana Asifiwe
